Part One of the Microwaved Children Collection

All across this country, children are microwaved. I'm very concerned for them. However, microwaved children are very annoying. Here is a story of a microwaved child:

-Oh no, she's not right. What's wrong with her? She's unbearable? Is she alright? There must be a problem.

Indeed there was; lurking under the surface. With jeans pulled up to her boobs, her hair arranged by her pillow, she was without a doubt: a microwaved child. We don't know why her mother did it to her, it was probably in her science. She was cooked from the inside out, things that we cannot see are at work here. They are responsible for the dry red eyes and the inability for the microwaved girl to shut up. She's pouring words out like foam. She's a page in the Mayo Clinic book. Revolting, maladaptive, molded improperly. We cannot help but look, being a microwaved child is something different. Invisible waves cooked her from the inside out and now her cerebellum has melted into her sensory cortex. Her social responsibility is to shut up, put up, give up. What hope is there, she is a microwaved child, she cannot function alongside non-microwaved children. Our mothers loved us, they did not infect us with their horrible science of invisible waves. We here at the proper end of the spectrum, are alarmed.

And yet, there she is, this microwaved child, pretending to be okay with it. Why can't she see our stares. Is it because being microwaved means that you only see certain micro wavelengths? We in the middle of the electromagnetic spectrum wonder how she functions, being so unaware, so unconsumed with herself. What's this? The microwaved girl talks again? So confident. It must be a side product of being microwaved, I'm sure. The greens, the blues, the reds and the violets here in the middle, we gasp. How horrible, how tragic, we throw ourselves upon the ground, grasping into the dirt with our claws. -Have mercy on her Earth, is being microwaved not enough punishment. She's drooling out of her mouth, words so horrible she's pretending we cannot hear them.

We cringe, we council, we support ourselves. If only she was a gamma-ray we exclaim! We could help her then. We could bring her with the other gamma rays. Yes, a great solution we tell ourselves, we could put her with all the gamma-rays. This would not be as hard as putting her with the cosmic rays, which are clearly too far away from us here in the spectrum of color to help. Yet, she is not a gamma ray. How can we put a microwaved child with gamma rays? Look at her again speak, it's amost as if she knows what she's saying, what she's thinking. Microwaved children have that aspect to them. We must do something, clearly she's trying to fit in with the oranges, and the greens. Quick, don't look her in the eye- she's coming this way. Stop, see, right there, the way she walks with a gimp. Her hair from back here looks like a robin's nest. She's drooling words again. Oh god. She speaks.